Why Do I Feel Like Crying After Sex?

person crying beside bed

If you feel like crying after sex, it’s more common than you might think. It’s actually referred to as postcoital dysphoria, and it can happen to anyone.

There are a few reasons why you might feel this way, including lowered inhibitions, depression, pain and hormone imbalances. Here are some of the main reasons why you might cry after sex: 1. You’re experiencing pleasure.

1. Experiencing something new or more intense than usual

Generally speaking, the act of sex elicits a wide range of feelings. That’s one reason why it can be so difficult to pinpoint why a person may cry after sex — because it’s not always the same thing that triggers tears, experts say. Often, those stray sips of water or full-on sob sessions are simply the result of myriad emotions like excitement, love, vulnerability and even anxiety being released at once.

In some cases, however, these heightened feelings can also be caused by things like past sexual trauma and disconnection between you and your partner. In that case, the best course of action is to speak with a therapist, according to intimacy coach Pallavi Barnwal.

As for those who experience the kind of sex that causes tears due to past trauma, she advises to talk with your partner about their feelings about this type of sex and what it means to them. This can help prevent re-traumatization and build your relationship at the same time. Just be sure to do so outside of the bedroom.

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2. Experiencing pain

When we’re having sex, there are times that we experience pain. If it is a physical pain, it can make you feel like crying. If you are experiencing a lot of pain during intercourse, it is important to talk to your doctor and/or therapist for advice and support.

A person may also cry after sex because they are in pain due to medical issues, illness or injury. This can also cause a person to have a negative mood.

If you are a woman who often cries after sex, it might be a sign of precoital dysphoria. This is a common condition that affects both women and men. It can be caused by many things, including hormone changes, pregnancy, or menopause.

If you have a fragile sense of self, sexual intimacy may stir up latent anxiety or sadness. It can also be a trigger for memories of past trauma. If this is the case, a therapist who specialises in sex and relationships would be able to help you work through these issues. They might suggest therapy or other stress-relieving activities to help you.

3. Experiencing disappointment

A big part of sex is feeling connected to your partner. If you’re head over heels for someone or have a special relationship with someone, the anticipation and excitement for sex can make your heart soar and emotions run wild. But this can sometimes lead to disappointment.

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If you’re anticipating sex and find out it doesn’t quite live up to expectations, this can be very disappointing and even make you cry. This can also happen when you are role-playing or fantasizing with someone and the scenario doesn’t turn out as hoped for.

Tears after orgasm is sometimes referred to as postcoital tristesse and can be a normal reaction for people who feel highly connected to their partners. But if you’re regularly crying after orgasm and aren’t sure why, it might be a good idea to see a sex therapist for some help. They can offer support and guidance in working through past traumas and turbulent feelings around sex. This can help you and your partner learn to communicate better and explore at a healthy pace.

4. Experiencing guilt or shame

If you cry during or after sex, it’s totally normal—it may even be beneficial. It’s often a sign that there are some unresolved feelings or traumas from the past that need to be processed. This is known as postcoital depression (PCD) or sometimes postcoital tristesse, and it’s a pretty common occurrence for both men and women.

It could be a sign that you’re feeling guilty about something or like you’ve done something wrong, which isn’t a healthy emotional baseline to have. Rather than feeling guilt, it’s important to feel compassion for yourself and learn ways to deal with your feelings in a more healthy way.

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If you’re crying after sex and it feels like a pattern, it might be worth talking to a therapist who specializes in sexual health and wellbeing. A therapist can help you work through any past traumas or issues that are causing you to react this way. They can also teach you skills to overcome your feelings of guilt or shame so you can enjoy sex in a more healthy and enjoyable way.

5. Experiencing anger or resentment

Anger and resentment can cause a lot of stress and tension. It’s important to try and figure out what’s behind the anger or resentment so that you can work to let it go. Experts suggest things like writing it down, talking about it with a trusted friend or therapist and practicing relaxation techniques such as intentional breathing and yoga.

Anxiety can also cause feelings of anger or resentment. It’s important to talk about these feelings with your partner so that they can understand what you are going through. If you’re not in a relationship, a therapist can help you work through these feelings.

The most important thing to remember is that your feelings are valid. It’s not “weird” or a bad thing to feel angry or resentful after sex, but it is important to identify what is causing you those feelings so that you can work on letting them go. Pinpointing the root of your resentment can be difficult, but it’s a key step to overcoming it. Then you can begin to heal. Whether it’s a lack of desire, sexual frustration or resentment towards an ex-partner, knowing what’s behind it can help you find the right resolution.

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