When it comes to sexual positions, older couples may struggle to find positions that are comfortable for them. This can lead to sexual “malfunctions,” such as premature ejaculation and not reaching orgasm.
A good solution is Spooning, which combines the comfort of the cuddle position with the ability for either partner to stimulate the clitoris. It’s also easier on the back and knees than Missionary.
Missionary
The missionary position, also known as the Elbow Plank Missionary Position, is a great choice for older couples who have back or knee pain. It is a comfortable position that puts very little pressure on the legs or back. In addition, it provides an easy fulcrum for a backward and forwards rhythm.
Spooning is another great sex position that can be used to stimulate the G spot and heighten sensations for both partners. The partner on top can use a sex toy or the free hands they have to rub their erogenous zones and build towards climax.
For a variation on this position, try adding a wedge pillow under the receiver’s hips to add support. This helps with any clumsiness and takes the pressure off her back and knees. It also allows the partner on top to adjust the angle at which they penetrate and reduces any strain in the neck or shoulders. It’s important for seniors to be flexible and open to trying new positions that make sexual activity enjoyable even in later life.
Cowgirl
Cowgirl is a great position for seniors that allows the partner on top to control depth and angle of penetration. It also helps stimulate the G-spot, and is often more satisfying for older women than other penetrative positions.
In this variation on Missionary, the man enters from behind and the woman straddles him for more support. It also helps the woman play a more active role, which can be beneficial for those who tire easily and may have trouble with movement or back pain. It’s also a good option for couples with hip or knee pain since the bottom person can use pillows to cushion themselves.
The person on top can even add a clitoral element to this position by having their clitoris rub against their partner’s pubic mound, or by using sex toys like vibrators. It’s important for older adults to try new sex positions with their partners to keep intimacy varied and fun. And, as always, it’s essential to communicate with your sex partner about what feels best and works for you.
Sofa Spooning
Sofa Spooning is a great sex position for older couples. It’s slow, sensual and super intimate. It’s also perfect for rear entry sex and makes it easy to communicate with your partner and monitor discomfort.
This position is ideal for the woman who has back pain, as it puts less pressure on her spine and knees. She can also find extra support by positioning pillows under her lower back and on the edge of the bed.
The man’s job in this sex position is to get into a rhythm while thrusting into the woman. He can also take breaks and massage the clitoris or vulva if needed. This is a perfect position for women who want to slow down their sexual experience, as well as older couples who need an alternative to more intense positions that may cause discomfort. It’s also a great way to try out different toys, such as the Aura Clit Sucker & Vibrating Dildo, as you can place the toy in your partner’s hand while they thrust into you. This will add a whole new level of pleasure to the position and make it more satisfying for both partners.
Doggy Style
Many older adults feel inhibited by sexual discomfort, pain or lack of energy. They also face stigmas against sex at an advanced age and may not feel comfortable sharing their sexual desires with their partner.
Trying new positions is an excellent way to bring back the spark in a couple’s relationship but it’s important that both partners are ready for the position they choose. This means they should engage in plenty of foreplay beforehand to build up the excitement.
If your partner has trouble doing this on their own try using a thigh pillow to provide manual stimulation. Doggy style is a great position for penetrating the G spot but it can also be used to target other erogenous zones like the anus and clitoris.
Another variation of this position is sofa spooning where the giver and receiver lie on their side as though they’re cuddling but with a little more cleavage. It can be easier to match rhythm in this position as it reduces pressure on both partner’s knees. The receiver can also drape her upper leg over the giver’s leg for added comfort.
Sideways 69
In this popular position, the woman kneels and straddles her partner’s hips to allow him to penetrate her from behind. It also allows him to stimulate her G-spot, which is very pleasurable for older women. It’s a great alternative to other 69 positions, such as the Hucklebuck, that can put pressure on the backs of both partners.
Using a cushion can make it more comfortable for both partners. Similarly, positioning pillows underneath can help reduce back strain, particularly for the woman on top. If the woman has difficulty lifting her legs, she may wish to try draping one of her upper arms over her partner’s knees for added leverage and support.
As with any sex position, communication is key. Both partners should talk through how to communicate during penetration, as well as whether the position is too hard, too soft, or just right. And as always, make sure to use plenty of lube. Caroline Shannon-Karasik is a Pittsburgh-based writer and mental health advocate. Her work has appeared in several print and online publications including The Cut, Narratively, and Good Housekeeping.
