Anal sex can be exciting and intimate, but it’s also important to be safe. If you’re trying anal for the first time, make sure that your partner takes it slow and checks in with you about pressure and sensations.
Also, remember to use lube! Anal sex without lube is painful and risky.
1. Relax Your Muscles
It’s important to relax before anal sex because tension in the body can make the anus feel tight. The key is to focus on foreplay and rubbing the anal opening with your partner’s fingers to make it more flexible. This is what the anus needs to prepare itself for something larger such as a penis or sex toy.
You can also use a lubricant like anal gel to help reduce friction and pain. However, Rosario doesn’t recommend using numbing lube as it can cause the anus to lose sensation.
For women, it can be very pleasurable to use a clitoris rub or finger to stimulate the anus. This can lead to stronger orgasms and it will increase the pleasure of having anal sex. It’s also a great way to prepare the anus for a strap-on or a real penis. Just remember that you must use a water-based lubricant as saliva will not work on the anus and can even cause harm. A good anal lube will make it feel smooth and soft. You can buy anal lubricant at any sex shop or online.
2. Breathe Deeply
Anal sex is exciting, but it can be painful if a person doesn’t prepare properly. Using plenty of lubricant and talking to a partner about what they want from anal play helps, but it’s also important to start slow.
Trying to rush anal penetration can cause pain and lead to injury. The anus is a tight space that contains some pretty delicate muscles, and rushing it could cause bruising or even damage the ass. It’s better to start with fingers or small sex toys and gradually work up to penetration with a penis or other larger anal sex toy.
Breathing deeply while doing anal sex or any sex can help make the experience more pleasurable. It can also help relax the pelvic floor and anus, so they’re less sensitive.
Some people may use multifunctional anal desensitizing gels to decrease the sensitivity of their anus during sex. However, numbing lubricants are not recommended because they can remove sensation entirely and lead to serious injuries. Moreover, they can also make it hard for a person to feel when their anal is being penetrated, which could be dangerous.
3. Choose Your Position Wisely
Studies show that anal sex can be very pleasurable – but like any sexual activity, it is important to take it slow and make sure you are comfortable. The biggest cause of painful anal is tension so it’s really important to relax your muscles, especially around the anus. Some couples find that having a drink before anal helps to calm the nerves and reduce the likelihood of discomfort.
It’s also really important to communicate clearly and openly with your partner. Start with foreplay and try different types of stimulation – including oral sex, fingering, vibrators and small butt plugs. This will help you and your partner to explore anal safely, find out what works for both of you and build confidence for deeper penetration.
Remember to use lube too – the anal canal doesn’t produce lubrication like a vagina, so it is prone to friction. There are plenty of anal lubricants to choose from that will decrease the pain and increase pleasure. Always use a water-based lubricant. Don’t use home lubes, cooking oil or saliva because they can cause pain and even health risks.
4. Don’t Force It
Forcing anal sex can cause pain, as well as a host of sexually transmitted infections. It is always best to allow the body and mind time to become accustomed to anal play.
For example, if you are a woman, try to start with anal foreplay like touching your partner’s crotch or getting a HJ and then move on to anal penetration slowly. This will help the muscles to relax and make for a smoother penetration.
Additionally, it is important to use anal lubricant. Avoid using home lubricants like body lotion, cooking oil, or even saliva, as these substances do not provide enough friction to make anal sex pleasurable.
It is also important to communicate openly with your partner. You should both agree about how you want to play anal and what you are comfortable with. This communication can help to make the experience more enjoyable for both of you.
Communicating can help with other aspects of sex as well, including sexual pleasure and avoiding pain. In addition to communicating with your partner, you should consider taking pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) to lower your risk of contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases when engaging in anal sex.
5. Let Your Partner Know
A couple can practice easing into anal play by introducing themselves to the sensations of the area with rimming, fingering and vibrators before diving inside. Foreplay that involves massages or caresses can also help a partner feel ready to explore.
It is important to use an adequate amount of lubricant during penetration. A silicone-based lube is best as it will be slippery enough to make anal sex less painful, but won’t break condoms or cause STDs. It is recommended to avoid using numbing lubricants as this could lead to the anus becoming desensitized and unable to feel pleasure or pain.
It’s a good idea to communicate with your partner throughout the experience about what feels good and what doesn’t, especially for those who are exploring anal sex for the first time. It’s also a good idea to make sure you both are on the same page about protection against STIs, whether that’s via PrEP, condoms or dental dams. It’s always a good idea to stop if you feel that anal sex is too painful and to try again later when you’re both feeling more comfortable.
