How to Orgasm With Your Mind

man leaning on wall while looking down wearing eyeglasses and necklace with right hand on chin

A mind orgasm is a type of orgasm that occurs without stimulating the body. It feels different than an orgasm that comes from genital stimulation, and is usually a deeper sensation.

But can you really orgasm with your mind? The answer is yes, and it’s easier than you think. Here are a few ways to get started:

1. Focus on your breath

When it comes to orgasms, breathing can be a powerful tool. By slowing down your breathing and taking deep, full breaths you can increase orgasms, create more intense pleasure and have longer peaks of sexual delight. This technique is a great way to practice foreplay or as you approach climax during sex (with your partner’s consent of course).

The key to this type of orgasm is focus and relaxation. Breathing deeply helps to reduce tension in the body and the mind. The idea is to breathe into and around the vulva and penis area, imagining that you are inhaling energy directly into these areas.

While this may sound like hippie nonsense, it actually has scientific backing. Barbara Carrellas, who is the poster girl for this type of orgasm, was put in an MRI and found that the same parts of her brain lit up as when she orgasmed.

2. Let your imagination run wild

Whether it’s a sexy fantasy or remembering a pleasurable past sexual experience, your mind is key to orgasm. Studies have shown that stimulation of the clitoris, nipples, and other erogenous zones triggers pleasure in the same parts of your brain.

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Getting yourself orgasm-ready involves more than just relaxing, however. You also need to let your imagination run wild. You can think about anything that turns you on, from a specific kink to a sexy scenario.

If you’re feeling adventurous, try using your imagination to imagine a sensual scene with a partner or even yourself. You can also use your breath, moan, and soft hip movements to add to the effect.

If all this sounds like hippie nonsense, it’s not. Barbara Carrellas, who’s known for “thinking herself off,” was put in an MRI and found that the same parts of her brain lit up as they would during actual orgasm. The sensation is called autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR).

3. Take a deep breath

If you’re like most people, the idea of getting orgasms with your mind sounds pretty cool. And the good news is that you can do it! It just takes a bit of practice.

Start by lying down in a comfortable position. Breathe deeply, and sigh or say something that feels liberating to you. For example, you could say “freedom.” Then focus on moving your hips up and down in a rhythm. This will help increase blood flow to your genital area and get you turned on.

If this isn’t enough to get you going, try thinking of sexual fantasies or recalling pleasurable past experiences. The point is to create new areas of pleasure in your body and trigger orgasms by your mental action. The best part is that you can do this even when you’re not masturbating. Studies show that the same parts of your brain that light up during physical stimulation also light up when you think about pleasure.

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4. Relax your muscles

The brain and body both play a big part in orgasms, but mind orgasms are unique because no extra nerve information is needed to trigger them. In fact, a lot of women have experienced them while sitting absolutely still (like during meditation, yoni egg exercises, or even with hypnosis).

A mind orgasm feels like an intensely pleasant trance and involves deep, some might say euphoric relaxation. You might feel the sensation in your head or neck, or it can spread to other parts of the body. Some people report feeling it in their torso, thighs, back, or limbs.

While it may be tempting to suck your guts in the hopes of getting an orgasm, that classic piece of advice is actually pretty bad for you. The key is to practice and relax — slowly but surely. Just remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day!

5. Breathe deeply

During any form of arousal, deep orgasmic breathing can take your pleasure to new heights. Many sex therapists and somatic sex educators teach their clients to incorporate the breath into sexual play to deepen orgasms. This is also known as tantric breathing. It involves a combination of slow and deep belly breathing while imagining your energy going into your clitoris, labia and penis. It’s a practice that can be done alone or with your partner. Try practicing a breathwork practice with your partner prior to foreplay or sex and then continue to be conscious of your breathing throughout the entire experience.

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This type of breathing allows your pelvic floor muscles to expand and contract creating tension that increases sensation. It also encourages blood flow to your genitals which is crucial for orgasms. The more you are aware of your breath and consciously use it during masturbation the closer you will get to that “almost there” orgasm that is so fulfilling.

6. Focus on your partner

The goal of reaching a mind-blowing orgasm isn’t always achievable, and that’s okay. Sometimes the little things like stress, hormone imbalance, a bad body image, or prescription meds can interfere with your pleasure and shoo away that feel-good release. That’s why it’s important to stay in the moment and focus on any good feelings you experience during sex, even if they don’t reach the big one.

Also, try not to make coming your main goal – the more you worry about it, the more likely you are to block orgasms altogether. Instead, sex and relationship coach Azaria Menezes recommends playing sexy games with your partner. These types of sexual interactions turn us on by stroking and touching different parts of the body, which triggers erogenous zones. Plus, they can be a great way to build trust and communication in a sexy relationship!

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